Sir Oscatel

Sir Thomas was goodly knight
With sword sharp and armour bright
Who came from Oldham
Or so he told ‘em

His only one cause of despair
Was the lack of son and heir
Fair lady as a wife he took
And tried as stated in the book

Many times they tried in vain
In the sun and in the rain
Until one day she said ‘enough'
I think you've got me up the duff'

For eight long months did Thomas wait
Mooning by the postern gate
But she bore what she didn't oughter
A mewling puling little daughter

Sir Thomas now turned very pale
And went to drown his woes in ale
And after many jugs he did regale
A fair young lass who came from Sale

Next morning with a thumping head
He did awake in strangers bed
He asked the lass her name to tell
She told him Mary Oscatel

It was all but three seasons later
Sir Thomas did receive a letter
‘oh look my dear what have you done
you've given me a bastard son'

Sir Thomas then all in a flash
To the forest he did dash
And hid the babe within a wood
And hurried home as fast he could

And to his wife he leaned and said
Without exercise we'll soon be dead
Let us to the forest ride
And help ourselves and more beside

Within the wood they stopped and stood
To listen quiet as they could
And anon the the twosome heard
Wailing, but not like a bird

His wife said ‘Thos must be a puppy'
But Thos said ‘no, must be a guppy'
I shall go investigate
And you stay here and quietly wait

Forward he rode to babe on ground
And told his wife what he had found
My dear my dear it ain't no beagle
But ‘tis a babe dropped by an eagle

We'll take the lad back with us home
I'd hate to leave him all alone
And he my arms shall one day bear
Becoming true my son and heir

He needs a name that suits him well
I know, we'll call him Oscatel.
And Oscatel did thrive and thrive
And up the wall his dad did drive

His fall was near poor Oscatel
His sister married rather well
Her dowry took the whole estate
Left Oscatel nowt but t' garden gate

Poor Oscatel left on his own
Had to go to London Town
And after such a trying journey
Plied himself at the tourney

He became an  ace of joust
And with King Hal did often roust
Until one day Hal said ‘arise sir knight'
I think you'll serve me true and right

Osca took his coat of arms
But badly needed formal crest
To sew upon his woollen vest
And so along with thread and needle
He broidered up a stunning eagle

And so until this present day
All his family display
An eagle on their coat of arms.
Aequanimitate